Thank You for Being You

I have a question for you; When was the last time anyone ever told you how much they appreciate and value you? When did you last hear, “Thank you for taking care of the dogs while I was sick” or, “It means the world to me that you cooked dinner for us after my stressful day”? No? No takers? (I swear I’m hearing crickets in the background.)

But I’ll bet that you can easily remember last Tuesday when your partner complained about how clingy you can be, or the other week when your grandma expressed her disappointment that you would be showing up to Christmas dinner alone again. Your boss is always pressuring you to answer her emails at 5:00 in the morning, and your current boyfriend is annoyed that you aren’t cool with his desires for an open relationship. Every day I hear my clients’ frustrations and irritations about how they never feel good enough. They try to change themselves in order to meet the expectations other people have placed upon them, even if it comes at their own personal expense.

Facing Your Fears

If I had a dollar for every time a client told me that they were “fine” with their family’s and partner’s misbehaviors, I would already be retired. (And I’m only 32.) Society has done an absolutely terrible job in teaching people that they should cater to the whims and desires of everyone around them, no matter the cost. But I have no interest in seeing the people-pleasing, way-too-agreeable version of you. No. I much prefer getting to meet your true, authentic self. Because I think that person is pretty great.

At Coltharp Counseling, I want to bring out the sides of you that you shy away from. I want to hear all about how stressful work was this week. Tell me more about your reservations of letting someone down and potentially hurting their feelings. Your aunt seems like a piece of work. What do you think that’s about?

And then next week I can’t wait to see your engagement photos. You got a new puppy? How is that going? What are you most looking forward about your upcoming vacation?

I want to hear it all.

Being Kind to Yourself

My point is that no one has ever given you the opportunity to be your full, authentic self. And that’s exactly why I’m here. How else are you ever going to figure out what you want in your relationships if you’re constantly on edge, dreading the possibility that your friends and family will abandon you at a moment’s notice if you do or say something “wrong”?

So, let’s acknowledge and appreciate all of your thoughts and feelings, including the ones you are ashamed of, because they are all important components of who you are.  I love getting to know you. And quite honestly, I feel the most connected to you when you let your hair down and just be yourself.

I want to help you see all of your amazing qualities that I see in you each and every week.

Work with me, and I will teach you how to love yourself.

Schedule a 15-minute consultation to see if I’m the right therapist for you.