How to be Attractive
There are a lot of Youtube videos, Instagram pages, Twitter posts, etc. that focus on providing dating advice and attracting a partner. Some of the content can be useful, particularly for people who want generic dating tips. However, a vast majority of the so-called “dating advice” is primarily focused on teaching people toxic behaviors that ultimately lead to heartbreaks and relationships ending. Unfortunately, society has not been particularly helpful about educating people on how to successfully build lasting relationships. Thankfully, that’s where I come in.
When a client shows up for professional counseling, they usually feel lost, scared, hopeless, and alone. Many of them want a romantic partner more than anything, but have no idea what they are doing wrong. I often hear statements like, “I just want someone to spend my life with.” “I’m terrified of being alone.” “What do I need to do to attract a partner?”
Much to the surprise for most of my clients, I do not provide them with a list of schemes and toxic tactics to manipulate a partner into loving them. (And if you want that, there’s plenty of that junk on Youtube to watch.) Instead, I offer something far more valuable; I can teach you not HOW to attract the partner, but how to BE attractive.
The Push vs. The Pull
Have you ever had someone try to sell you something that you clearly did not want? We all have had spammers leaving voicemails asking if we want an extended car warranty. It’s annoying, frustrating, and relentless. Let’s call this scenario “the Push” because one person is pushing something onto you that you don’t need or want. Dating can sometimes feel like “the Push”; You or your date might be trying to sell themselves to the other person. They might say something like, “You should date me because I can cook, do dishes, buy you presents, etc.” Great. That sounds… nice. It’s nice to meet someone who is willing to do stuff for you. But it’s not attractive, because there is an uneven power dynamic at play. One person clearly holds all of the cards while the other person does whatever their romantic interest wants them to do. It’s nice in the moment, but it’s unlikely to last.
Now consider another scenario. In this situation, one person inherently has something that other people want. Perhaps they are a successful businessman, or is a talented singer. They are that person at their very core, and no one can take that away from them. Lady Gaga doesn’t beg to sing at the local bar. No. The NFL invites her to perform at the Super Bowl. Because she’s Lady Gaga. This relationship dynamic is called “the Pull” because people want to be near the individual that innately has value. In much the same way, dating can lead to lasting love when both people feel “the Pull” towards one another. Both people see qualities in the other person that they admire, and thus they want to form a closer and more intimate connection with each other.
How Professional Counseling Can Help You Create “The Pull”
Humanistic counselors, like myself, are professionally trained to help their clients become attractive to other individuals. Contrary to popular belief, relationship counseling is NOT about cheapening yourself or trying to convince potential romantic partners that they should love you. Rather, relationship counseling is about INCREASING your inherit worth by teaching you how to fully accept and embrace your authentic self, and by extension showing other people just how valuable you inherently are.
Work with me and I will teach you how to create the Pull.
I will teach how to be attractive and create lasting love.
Click on the link below to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if I’m the right therapist for you.